OH I GUESS I CAN POST THIS NOW here’s my piece for @itsagoodomenszine, which I also did some design work for! It’s hard to have fun in the snow when you are a large snake who can’t thermoregulate but sometimes you gotta tough it out for the love of ya life
(leftover sales of the zine & merch are currently open here if you want to check it out! I also have prints of this piece in my shop ✨)
I was talking with the GC last night about why Aziraphale looks so damn angry after the kiss, and I think it’s about choices - specifically being forced to make a hard choice.
Look how happy Aziraphale is when he tells Crowley what Metatron said. This offer is the best thing ever! Crowley gets to come home and Aziraphale is the one who gets to give him that gift.
He can make Crowley smile like this again:
But Crowley says no. He says NO. He won’t listen, he doesn’t understand. He wants to run away, Aziraphale wants to make a difference. It hurts. It’s breaking Aziraphale’s heart. But it’s Crowley’s fault. Crowley is the one walking away. Crowley is the one rejecting him. Aziraphale has the moral high ground.
And then Crowley flips everything upside down by kissing him. Crowley clings on to him and pours all his love and all his desperation into this kiss.
Suddenly Aziraphale is the one rejecting Crowley - and Crowley has put him in that position. He can’t claim this was Crowley’s choice anymore. It’s on him now.
But how can that be? Aziraphale is making the right choice… isn’t he? He’s the good one, Heaven is the good side, Aziraphale is on the right side. How dare Crowley make it hurt so much? How dare Crowley make him doubt?
For all that Crowley has always been the one to challenge Aziraphale, Aziraphale has never been able to let go of the idea that Heaven is the side of good and light. Ascending as the Supreme Archangel should be the greatest moment of Aziraphale’s existence but Crowley has made it hard. As much as it hurt seeing Crowley walk away, it hurts so much more to be the one walking away from Crowley.
“Be not faithless, but believing”, says the Bible. Crowley has made him doubt, and that’s the worst thing he could have done.
Crowley really had it right when he asked how someone so clever could be so stupid.
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